Holy Cow by David Duchovny

HolyCowTitle: Holy Cow

Author: David Duchovny

Publisher: Headline

Hardback:  224 pages


Elsie Bovary is a cow and a pretty happy one at that. Until one night, Elsie sneaks out of the pasture and finds herself drawn to the farmhouse. Through the window, she sees the farmer’s family gathered around a bright Box God – and what the Box God reveals about something called an ‘industrial meat farm’ shakes Elsie’s understanding of her world to its core. The only solution? To escape to a better, safer world. And so a motley crew is formed: Elsie; Shalom, a grumpy pig who’s recently converted to Judaism; and Tom, a suave turkey who can’t fly, but  an iPhone with his beak. Toting stolen passports and slapdash human disguises, they head for the airport …

Took me a while to get to the first chapter – there were about 6 title pages to waft through – after which I steam rolled through about half the book in half an hour – I then stopped put the book down and resisted the urge to throw it in the recycle bin.

On paper this sounded brilliant unfortunately the reality was something quite different. The narrative, courtesy of Elsie, was drivel and lacked any of the sardonic wit hoped for – and anticipated – and was peppered with conversational snippets with the ‘editor’ which was irritating and pointless. Equally the story had a slight hint of style but no content.

By and large if you’re looking for something that carries the type of message this book is trying to emulate then stick to Animal Farm or for something a little lighter – Beatrix Potter.

Rating: 2 out of 10


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